January 11, 2011

January 11, 2011

All About the Benjamins

Last week, my co-worker (in a loose sense) Tim Geithner unveiled the new $100 bill.

While Benjamin Franklin’s portrait remains as steadfast as his love for stoves and dayplanners, there’s a new Liberty Bell picture. And a 3D security ribbon. (Wtf? Somewhere, James Cameron is laughing his butt off.) And many other security features which Treasury has detailed in this video.

Why does Treasury do this? Why tell all your tricks? It doesn’t work in poker. It doesn’t work in sales. It doesn’t work in dating. Really, the only time you should tell the whole truth is while under oath. (Mileage may vary in Chicago and New Jersey.)

It’s entirely possible that the hundred has security features I know not of. I’m certainly not in Tim’s inner circle. Psh, I’m not even in his OUTER circle. So perhaps Treasury is an even better poker player than I can fathom.

Doubtful.

Sadly, few of us will see terribly many of these in our lifetimes. Not because we’re poor, but because cash is passé. Though my Tea Partiest friends would shudder to think it, I’d pay for everything by debit or credit card if I could. Cash is slow and complicated. I understand that it was a huge step up from barter, because pieces of paper obviously > furniture and rocks. But every time the person in front of me at the grocery store pulls out a wad of cash, I want to punch someone in the face. It’s okay; it wouldn’t hurt because I punch like an armless koala.

(Do NOT get me started on people who use checks at the grocery store or it will get REAL in here.)

Though a cashless society has a host of implications, ranging from privacy issues to the Mark of the Beast (gasp), can we all agree that reducing counterfeiting and whooshy YouTube videos of currency would be a small benefit?

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: