February 1, 2011

February 1, 2011

Rise of the Machines

February means different things to different people. If you’re a romantic, it’s time for Valentine’s Day celebration. If you’re Canadian, it’s time to bust out the flags. If you’re visiting New Zealand, it’s time to figure out what a Waitangi is and whether you can eat it.

If you’re me, it’s time to start combating the machines. Join me, won’t you?

It all started when I read an article about how robots are taking over one of my most beloved game shows. It’s not that I like watching Jeopardy! because it is a game of skill rather than chance. (My favorite game on The Price is Right? Plinko.) What I really like about Jeopardy! Is Alex Trebek that it rewards people with a freakish knowledge of trivia. And it rewards them not with dining room sets or cars they’ll never drive. It rewards them with cold hard cash.

As a child, my desire to be a Jeopardy! contestant was second only to my jonesing to appear on Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?, a PBS game show whose brief existence illuminated my summer vacations. As I’ve grown older, my dreams involving capturing Carmen have decreased, but those involving a bank of TV monitors and answering in the form of a question have not.

So when I got a little email kindly informing me that the online tests were opening, did I sign up? YOU BET I DID. I don’t want to jinx myself by saying too much more, but you know me well enough to realize that I’ve been freaking out ever since.

Do I need to study?

Would studying even help?

Should I search for tips from past test takers?

If I do well on the test, will they even audition in the DC area?

Would they be wiling to put me on television, even though I am likely to spill something on myself before the taping and/or accidentally punch Alex instead of shaking his hand?

I’ll be watching the robot episodes with a keen eye, to be sure. Who knows—that droid could well be my competition.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: