April 6, 2011

April 6, 2011

Kate is Enough

These are the times that try men’s souls, amiright? Our system of government is about to collapse, I haven’t yet found a shiny new job, and The Borgias is nowhere near as titillating as The Tudors. Stella ain’t getting her groove back these days. Stella’s groove is somewhere between Libya and $4 gas.

Then, this travesty lands in my mailbox:

Because, in case you forgot, That Woman is getting married in less than a month. I’m telling you, Ben and Jerry cannot come up with flavors fast enough to combat this stress.

Oddly, the Newsweek article seems to posit the royal nuptials as a distraction from the serious shiznit our society is in. I…don’t understand. This is like giving a blind woman free Netflix for life. All the Reese Witherspoon in the world won’t bring back her sight. (Ironically, it may eventually lead her to cut her ears off.)

Just don’t tell me they’re going to start charging for Hulu. It would be too much.

3 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke:

Am I the only one snickered at the military male-rape secret headline in conjunction with her picture? Because it almost seems to imply she has something to do with military male-rape.

That was a very disturbing story, by the way. I thought it couldn't get worse than the cover article on That Woman. AND THEN IT DID.

I thought the story was very weird also. It was so focused on the whole "she's a lowly commoner" thing and "she's going to breathe new air into the monarchy" thing...when the monarchy is basically nothing these days, who cares about either of these theses? Actually I just felt really sad reading the story...not because Wills is getting married, but because this is pretty much the end of Kate's life as she knew it. I know she made her choice and blah blah blah, but I was just squirming as I read, thinking how much I would HATE to be married into royalty.