April 27, 2011

April 27, 2011

The State of the Admins

It’s Administrative Professionals Day. Since I work in administration and try my darnedest to be professional,* I’d like to reflect on the state of the admins.

My fellow admins, I saw a woman carrying three purses on my way into the office this morning. I can understand one (lunch) or two (lunch and shoes) bags. But three purses? Really? Here’s an idea: get a larger bag and consolidate.

As you know, the Internet has revolutionized our time in the office. I spent a good 11 minutes or so watching this video of Super Mario Bros. 3 with an acoustic soundtrack. Yes, I watched the entire thing. And since I’ve always preferred to enjoy videogames passively (translation: I like to watch), this was 11 minutes of heaven. I’d totally forgotten about the little fireballs.

Admins, I must confess that may have abused my power. One of my coworkers is leaving this week, and his neighbors are already scouting out his cube. It’s got a window view, so it’s highly-coveted. As an office dweller, I am fortunately above the fray. However, I have managed to convince the person moving into said cube to get some of those doorway beads from the ‘70s. I promised to spend a good amount of time next Monday spinning around in the beads. Everybody wins.

Though I can report no new developments in the battle of admins vs. functionals, rest easy. Our eventual victory is assured. Remember the three-step nuclear: hide, lock, and erase. As in, hide the office supplies, lock the accounts, and erase the calendar appointments. Note that this is a worst-case scenario, to be used when the only thing standing between you and death by zombie is a functional. I think we can all agree that the functionals are amusing (if helpless) the rest of the time, right?

So, my fellow admins, as we open another year of support services, let us hope that it is only a matter of time until the functionals start remembering their passwords, stop losing paperwork, and figure out how to use the copier already.

Admins help those who help themselves.


* With an assist from my Tide pen.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: