July 7, 2011

July 7, 2011

Hail and Farewell

I can now proudly announce that I will be moving from my current position at federal-agency-that-shall-not-be-named to cabinet-department-that-shall-not-be-named very shortly.

(It has an ‘e’ in it.)

While I’ve been undergoing the transfer process for a while now, I just got the official word this week. So you, beloved blogreadership, have been just as out of the loop as the co-workers who annoy me every damn day. No worries.

(I started looking for a new job in December. Though, as friend-of-blog Justin pointed out, when am I *not* looking for a new job?)

The downside of announcing that you’re leaving your current job, of course, is that it tends to make people comment on how much they appreciate you, draw attention to you, cause people to give you things, etc.

(Only applies if you’re doing your job well.)

I’ve been learning this the hard way. Because no matter how successful I get, I will always be a chubby agoraphobic only child on the inside. ALWAYS.

The day after I announced my imminent departure, I received a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. Now, I’m certainly not one to look a gift donut in the hole, but I prefer cake donuts. I like a little stiffness to my cruller, and that is 100% not a euphemism.

(Tried to come up with a catchy Johnny Cochran-esque version. The closest I got was “If the donut can be squished, you must acquit.” So…not so much.)

As excited as I am to relocate my lava lamp to another part of DC, I’m not going to let a little glaze get me down. It’s just that there’s no good way to say “Do not celebrate or draw attention to me, but if you must, please do so to my exact specifications.”

(I should start a line of OCD Hallmark card for just such occasions.)

3 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke:

congrats on the new job! too bad about the Krispy Kreme's...I like those better than cake :)

Congratulations!

But if you quit the new job to start those cards, I may singlehandedly keep you in business.

I love this post and all the tics it represents.

How about "If the doughnut can be squished, then Heather will be pissed"?

I dunno where I'm going with this. Anyhow, congrats!