August 17, 2011

August 17, 2011

Summer Movie Reviews: A Threeve

X-Men: First Class

It’s a funny thing, the origin story. Just because someone’s interesting now doesn’t mean they always were. As a young boy, Winston Churchill was probably just as noisy and sticky as the kids down the block, y’know? Even though I’d heard this film compared favorably to a Bond movie, I was skeptical. X-Men just isn’t X-Men without Patrick Stewart.

I wasn’t totally disappointed, but I wasn’t totally surprised, either. Though I enjoyed learning the backstories of Magneto and Mystique and the X-Men gang (including some really great cameos), I was unable to support the idea that mutants helped us solve the Cuban missile crisis. It’s like vampires and the Civil War, or cowboys versus aliens (more on this in a minute). Too much incongruity.

Still, kudos to the cast, who did the most they could with what they have. Now can we please let the grownups come back?

Captain America: The First Avenger

I am going to follow my above thesis (“Naturally-created mutants fighting communism is unrealistic”) with the thesis “Scientifically-created mutant fighting Nazis is AWESOME.” Please try to keep up.

I vastly preferred Captain America to X-Men. Is this due to better casting? More compelling plotlines? Flamethrowers? Yes. All dipped in stylized sepia tones. America was never better or more unified than when it fought and won World War II. Oh for a time when tea parties involved nothing more than drinking beverages.

Cowboys & Aliens

Nothing less than affection for my dad could have made me see this film. From the very first trailer, I treated it with a combination of fear (ALIENS, GAH!) and confusion (James Bond is a cowboy?). No interest in seeing it. None at all. Until I found out that my dad really wanted to see it and guilted myself into taking him. Be glad you have siblings.

Perhaps I’ve matured since I saw Signs; the aliens in this movie didn’t scare me nearly as much. More likely, it was the reassuring combination of Indiana Jones and James Bond protecting the townsfolk (and by extension, the viewer). No offense to Braveheart, but my money is on these guys.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: