December 15, 2011

December 15, 2011

Deck the Halls with Shrimp and Meatballs

‘Tis the season for holiday parties. I know this because The Office aired its annual Christmas party episode (which, by the way, AMAZING), and because I’ve already attended one myself. With two to go. You know it’s gotten out of hand when even someone like me is invited to multiple events. I understand when YOU are invited to Christmas parties, but I go out of my way to avoid socializing with other human beings in unstructured environments. (Where is the Christmas party with an agenda, I ask you?)

The best events, of course, have incredible mounds of expensive food. TheBoy’s work party was such an occasion. He’s employed by Defense Contractor That Shall Not Be Named, and they have a little something I like to call “private sector money.” This allowed them to rent out a DC landmark (I can’t say which one, but it’s one of the ones that holds priceless national treasures), and fill it to the brim with a DJ, multiple open bars, and (the part I was most concerned with) SO MANY FOOD TABLES.

I had boneless beef ribs, curry chicken, three types of mac and cheese, pita chips with hummus, and baked chicken. One my first plate. Of, like, four. Because there was also a milkshake station, a sushi bar, multiple carveries, dessert tables, and did I mention the milkshake station?

What hath the military industrial complex wrought? Verily, it is beautiful.

[This is an actual picture from the party, though not taken by me. I was told that cameras were not allowed, so I didn’t even try to sneak one in. I was carrying one of those almost-useless tiny party purses, and I wanted to leave as much room for leftover shrimp as possible.]

Towards the end of the evening, I had to pass up shrimp. I HAD TO PASS UP SHRIMP.

In government, you get a potluck and a gift exchange with a $10 limit. And since they passed that law banning federal swag earlier this year, don’t expect a coffee mug or pen with the agency’s logo on it.

Whereas the private sector has, y’know, enough shrimp to make me full.

Remind me again why I chose government work?

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: