December 26, 2011

December 26, 2011

Why Such Angry Birds?

So it turns out that a side effect of getting a Kindle Fire is a complete addiction to Angry Birds. I dream about it, I want to play it all the time, and I get judgmental when I think other people are better at it than I am. Rovio, what have you done to me?

Once again, I know I’m late to the party. I don’t have a smartphone; I had to wait until I got a tablet to discover the joys of hurling tiny birds into pigs. (Why? I don’t know. Is there a big Angry Birds backstory that I missed, or are we all just pissed at pork in general?)

Then there’s the merchandise. Angry Birds stuffed animals, and lunchboxes, and clothing. People have constructed life-sized versions of the game. Christmas light odes to it. I am not alone!

[In the movie version of my life, I want the me character to celebrate her 30th birthday by renting out her high school gym and turning it into a life-sized Angry Birds game. I also want to do that in real life, but it seems like so much work.]

I’ve started playing Words with Friends, too, but it’s not as addicting. I have a handful of games going with Facebook friends, and I’m almost positive they’re cheating. These people are playing words I’ve never even heard of, and I know they aren’t THAT smart. Some random internet person? Maybe. But I went to college with these people, and you know who was valedictorian of our class? Me. ME. If I don’t know the word, you did not come across it via legitimate means, and should not be allowed to use it in a game. I believe they call that a syllogism, which just goes to show how broad my vocabulary really is.

Best to stick to the simple elegance of Angry Birds.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: