January 23, 2012

January 23, 2012

Our Daily Bread

Bread bowls are a thing now, I guess? I’ve seen several ads along the lines of “Warm up with soup!” and the soup is always in a bread bowl, so I assume all of America’s meals will soon be served in containers you can eat. Q.E.D. I concede that whether it’s soup, chili, or perhaps a really watery meatloaf, it’s going to taste better in a bread bowl. It’s like those taco salads that come in a giant bowl-shaped tortilla chip. Edible dinnerware makes everyone a winner. (Say that five times fast.)

As a child, I thought one of the most delightful aspects of the Middle Ages was the concept of a trencher. Your lunch was served on a giant slice of bread! C’mon! This infusion of carbohydrates would have completely made up for the diphtheria and Crusades, in my opinion. Why did we stop doing this? Was there a bread shortage? Was it Atkins? Should I blame Tupperware?

Regardless, we have now come full anti-celiac circle and embraced the bread bowl. I hope some day soon to get my Subway sandwich wrapped in a tortilla, and my chips served in a Hot Pocket. Let us not squander the promise of the turducken. Long live food surrounded by additional food. Ideally, starchy food. It seems like a fitting renaissance after years of anti-carb propaganda. As I’m sure you did, I called bs on that some time ago. I knew two people who lost a startling amount of weight while eating little besides butter and bacon, and they have gained it all back. And honestly, if a diet is going to fail, shouldn’t it allow you to have macaroni and cheese?

(Speaking of potatoes, we noticed while in London that the bags of Walker’s chips [a brand whose logo is so similar to that of Lay’s that they must be corporate partners] included a line like “Made with 100% British potatoes.” Is this a sentiment against Irish potatoes or what? How incredibly bitchy. I love it. No filthy Irish spuds in this bag of shrimp-flavored crisps!)

Maybe someday, The Container Store will actually be a restaurant. Here’s hoping.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: