February 9, 2012

February 9, 2012

I think they invented Milano cookies.

The website Foursquare, as you may know, is like Facebook for places. You use your GPS-enabled device to “check-in” to places, showing everyone else exactly how cool (or uncool) you are. The frequency and type of check-ins allow you to earn badges, and there’s nothing cooler than earning a badge. I say this with all honesty. My girlhood stint in Brownies taught me this. The first time I heard the famous movie quote “Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!” I recoiled in horror, then wondered whether I could have that person’s rejected badges.

But anyhoo, Foursquare offers a limited number of city badges, wherein you check into a certain number of locations in a city and unlock a badge with a symbolic image of that city on it. Think Golden Gate Bridge or Eiffel Tower.

Or, in the case of Milan, this:

What would Samuel Jackson say?!

Though I know very little about Milan other than what was shown on Top Model that one time, I’m almost certain its key attraction is a giant man-eating serpent king. I think we got rid of all those in the Middle Ages. If not, this may be the solution to that debt crisis everyone’s always going on about; if they can get $80 for a ride on the London Eye, the sky is the limit here, people. #capitalism

However, we must consider the possibility that a weaponized Loch Ness Monster is not, in fact, raoming the streets on Milan. In which case, WTF Milan?! Is there traditional symbolism here of which I am not aware? Did you pick this design after a night of too much prosecco*? Are you hoping it keeps the tourists out, so as to keep things nice for the residents?

If that works, I suggest the DC badge be a combination of the Grim Reaper and leeches.

* I don’t drink, and understand almost nothing about the various types of alcoholic drinks. I’ve always thought “prosecco” sounded snooty, which is what I’m going for here. If the Milanese are actually known for port, or brandy, or Riesling, that’s my bad.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: