February 17, 2012

February 17, 2012

Without the fiddly bits!

Thanks to YouTube, you can now view programming from all over the world. Since I’m a pathological Anglophile, I tune in to British programming on a regular basis. I watch documentaries on the monarchy whilst*on the treadmill, I check out Ramsay’s Best Restaurant during dinner, and I put on game shows when I want to see contestants smarter than those on any game show we have here.

For example, there’s this show called The Chase. A group of four strangers answers trivia questions. The Chaser, a ridiculously intelligent and intimidating person will then try to answer the same number of questions. There are various rounds, but that’s the gist. Now, we expect The Chaser to be super smart, because duh. But the regular contestants! Holy cow! You see some old lady and think she’s toast:

“Ello. I’m Muriel Fiddlestone, and I’m a pensioner from Liverpool.”

Then BAM, she’s giving the date of the 29th Olympiad, the Grammy winner for best new artist in 1994, the conservative MP for Kent, and the names of the 19 Duggar children.

Oh no she di’int? Oh yes she did!

I can only conclude that the Britons are both genetically and environmentally smarter than we are. Perhaps it’s the result of a nation that’s more interactive than we are. (Quick: Name the last time you went to Canada.) Perhaps it’s something in the school uniforms. Perhaps (and I’m really hoping it’s this one) it’s all the mashed potatoes they eat.

To be honest, I have only seen the contestants win once. As good as they are, The Chasers are even better. They know literature, and sports, and pop culture, and maths.** Ridic.u.lous.

But best of all, the last episode I watched had the commercials left in.


If there’s anything more amazing than intelligent British people, it’s British people convincing other British people to buy things:

“Tired of draining your tuna? Buy SureFresh drain-free tuna. It’s tuna, without the fiddly bits.”***

TheBoy and I spent the rest of that weekend randomly interjecting “WITHOUT THE FIDDLY BITS!” into conversation. Gold, I tell you. Solid gold. That phrase is never not funny. Should I ever be appointed to high office, I am going to erupt into giggles while getting sworn in, because I will mentally insert “without the fiddly bits” after “So help me God.” I’m not even sure what “the fiddly bits” refers to. I’m not even sure it matters.

Man, I miss England.

But, yeah, whenever you feel depressed at the state of affairs in our country, just pop on a bit of British TV. Delightful.

Update: I found the actual commercial!

* See what I did there, with the whilst? Classy, right?
** See what I did there, with pluralizing math? Classy, right?
*** For maximum effect, pronounce it as “tee-YOO-nuh.”

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