March 21, 2012

March 21, 2012

I Coulda Been a Contender

Whether by coincidence or design, I’ve found myself reading a string of biographies/memoirs lately. Benjamin Franklin. Condoleezza Rice. Catherine the Great. All great people with great accomplishments. A nice change from my typical “robots take over the world while children fight to the death” sort of book. (Not that I’m not eagerly anticipating The Hunger Games movie, mind you. I hope to see it in glorious IMAX so lifelike that the adolescent blood almost leaps off the screen.)

And while I find many biographies inspiring and amusing (the best are both), I find that they’re often intimidating as well. I mean, by the time Benjamin Franklin was my age, he’d already rocked like four different careers. Catherine the Great had lived in three countries. Whereas my proudest accomplishment in the past week was knowing Prince Albert’s age when he died (42).

Normally, this sort of thing wouldn’t bother me, as I realize that knowing Prince Albert’s age when he died (42) can be a great conversation starter. (Don’t think so? I guess we aren’t having many conversations, then.) Unfortunately, I find myself in need of five interesting personal anecdotes for an upcoming event linked to that countdown at the upper right of this blog page.

(*dun dun DUN*)

Suggested topics include my activities, awards, or collections. Which would be fabulous if my answers weren’t “watching TV,” “almost 400 GetGlue stickers,” and “Hello Kitty memorabilia.” While I myself personally find these things interesting, I’m guessing Alex Trebek would not.


My lack of children and pets makes this even more difficult. I could always make one up, or appropriate a story from a Facebook friends, but there seems to be a lot of vomit and poop involved when you’re dealing with both small animals and small people.

Since I’ve only been able to come up with two short-but-interesting things about myself so far (1. once accidentally marched in a parade, 2. classically-trained pianist), I just might have to go with my backup plan: using events from other people’s lives. They did this once in an episode of The Office, where thinly-veiled movie plots became personal stories.

“I once walked almost an entire continent to destroy a powerful ring by dropping it in a volcano.”

“I tried to make every recipe in Julia Child’s cookbook.”

“I’m a wizard.”

Yep, that’ll work.

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