March 19, 2012

March 19, 2012

You, Kid

While changing from train to bus at the Pentagon last week, I heard a baby crying somewhere in the vicinity. It was confusing. The only acceptable reason for crying near the Pentagon is a silent shedding of tears in awe of the ferocity of our military-industrial complex. Or possibly a quick cry in a bathroom stall after a general has been yelling at you. I’m sure that were I employed by the Department of Defense, I’d spend plenty of time sobbing in private. But anyway.

The fact is, I just don’t encounter kids much. Or at all. My daily routine of commute-work-commute-home involves 99.9% adults. I’ll occasionally see one in the train station, but that’s about it. I’m bracing myself for Bring Your Kids to Work Day (end of April at Cabinet-Department-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named) because I’m not sure I know how to interact with kids anymore. What are kids into these days? Can we bond over Downton Abbey or the situation in South Sudan?

I always have a bowl of candy on my desk, so I guess that’s a start. The key is to make the candy good enough to appear as a friendly gesture, but not so good that they swarm. My offices fills with kids, I’m going into panic mode and siccing* a fire extinguisher on them.

This will be my first experience with a Bring Your Kids to Work Day, either as a kid or an adult. I’d appreciate any advice you can think of. In the meantime, I’m going to make sure my fire extinguisher is fully-charged.

* Microsoft Word has no idea what this word is. Obviously the future progressive tense** of “sic” is beyond that little paper clip’s vocabulary.
**Had to look this up, unfortunately. I miss the days when I knew all the English verb tenses.

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