May 14, 2012

May 14, 2012

In the Water Closet

If there’s one room that should be self-explanatory, it’s the bathroom. While there are a number of things you can do in there (pun intended), they are limited and involve specialized equipment. It’s not a room people generally hang out in, singly or in groups, and it tends to be closed up when not in use. But then you have your public bathrooms, and all strictures get tossed out the window.

I’m told, for example, that graffiti is common in men’s restrooms. On the urinals, stalls, walls, and just other flat surfaces. Some of it is vulgar, some of it isn’t. What matters here is the fact that men, instead of taking care of business, are instead drawing, inking, or scratching their way to artistic expression.

Whereas the last time I saw graffiti in a women’s bathroom was elementary school. Conclude what you will about the maturity level of fifth-grade girls and grown men.

Women’s bathrooms have toilet seat covers. Do men have those? I don’t really understand them, since I’m much more likely to die from eating poisoned food or getting hit by a car whilst jaywalking, but okay. I’m guessing that men don’t have much use for something that ostensibly keeps seats (both man’s and the toliet’s) clean.

Don’t even get me started on urinals. There’s this whole vocabulary (Cakes? Liquid-activated video games and music? Advertising?) that disturbs me every time it comes up in news stories or on sitcoms. Ugh.

There was an episode of The Office some time ago when the men of Dunder Mifflin learned just how different the women’s bathroom was. Some were willing to pay for the privilege of using it. I never understood that until I started learning about the chaotic mess that is a typical men’s bathroom.

Guys, I just don’t get you.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: