Anyway, as often happens, I noticed something weird recently. But as rarely happens, it turns out I was right and have corroborating evidence. Because my recent time in Wisconsin made me realize that it is full of fat people, or at least fuller than the DC area.
To be fair, I spent a lot of time at restaurants, movie theaters, and the State Fair—all places beloved of the stocky. But still. They were everywhere. Entire families of them, sometimes. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing; I’m just saying that you tend to forget that most of America is obese when you have to sprint for the train twice daily. Diet tip: The stress of hellacious traffic is quite slimming!
I mean, take the State Fair. As I quietly consumed my deep-fried bacon-wrapped tater tots on a stick (see above), I people-watched and hypocritically judged. I was really jealous every time I saw someone with the 80-ounce barrel of fries. A barrel! Of fries! THIS is what coopers should be doing these days! (Too obscure?) In a state that values dairy products as highly as Wisconsin does, body composition of the average person is 5% cheese at any given time. Don’t take my word for it; this is SCIENCE.
Man, I miss it already.