Election Day is coming up. You may have heard. Or, if you consume any sort of media, you may have been relentlessly bombarded with partisan ads from both sides every effing minute.
Just hypothetically speaking, of course.
Now, I’m a pretty hardcore advocate of voting, whether in a primary or a general election. I figure it’s the least I can do. (Also, if I should someday become well-known in the political arena, I want my voting record to be immaculate.) Even with Virginia’s crazy computerized voting getup, the act itself takes just a few minutes.* And almost before you know it, you have participated in this glorious democratic republic of ours, etc. etc.
Here’s the thing, though: as much as I love the voting process, I loathe people. You know this. This blog is nothing if not a litany of complaints about people and ideas that irritate me. So in an election with projected high turnout, I come to a crossroads:
Major premise: I want other people to vote.
Minor premise: I don’t want other people’s voting to interfere with my voting.
That sound you hear is Aristotle blanking on the conclusion to the syllogism.
In Wisconsin, I had an easy solution: vote absentee by mail. Wisconsin is a state that allows for so-called “no excuse” absentee voting, wherein you just have to fill out the application form and the election gurus mail you a ballot. Easy, breezy, beautiful. I’m told that Oregon does all of its voting by mail. Love it. Virginia, of course, requires a lot more legwork and won’t let you vote absentee unless you are working and/or commuting for more than 11 hours on Election Day. Le sigh.
But, there IS hope. Virginia allows for in-person early voting, and one of the locations is my local public library. I’m going to try it this year—my first Presidential election in Virginia. The crowds at the midterms were bad enough; I shudder to think what these will be like.
Two important questions, though, for anyone who’s done this before: Do you still get a sticker? Do you still get candy?
Inquiring minds want to know.
* That’s what she said.