November 21, 2012

November 21, 2012


Whilst reading The USA TODAY recently, I learned that the country of Iceland is considering changing its name. I think we all learned as kids about the Greenland/Iceland naming brouhaha debacle, so you realize that Iceland is not entirely a sheet of ice and Greenland is not entirely a sheet of…green. Each has its pros and cons, much like the movies of John Cusack or roadside buffet restaurants.

Though this idea is being proposed via a tourism department-sponsored contest and not an official law of the Icelandic government (Ice-stag? House of Ices? Ice Senate?), I hope it has legs. Rather than lamenting that there are no more blanks on the map these days, and rather than creating new countries by tearing apart existing countries and adding the word “south” (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, SUDAN), perhaps we just start renaming the ones we already have.

Some I think we should keep:

Andorra. It’s one of those words that just sounds rich, like “sateen” or “Trump.”

Bangladesh. It’s almost like a little percussive song, all in one word.

Burkina Faso. Fun to say, plain and simple.

Djibouti. Ditto.

Switzerland. I’ve no idea what a switzer is, but they’ve established a country with phenomenal chocolate, watches, and pocket-sized multifunctional tools.

And some that need to go:

Cote d’Ivoire. Look, I took two years of French, and even *I* get annoyed.

Kyrgyzstan. It’s the “gyz” that kills it. This from someone with a “czk” in her surname. I know of what I speak, people.

Laos. Sounds like a parasite.

New Zealand. Since there’s no Zealand, I wonder what ELSE these people are hiding.

Tanzania. Too often confused with Tasmania. Consider changing to Zanzibar, the name of one of its states.

As a US citizen, I have no way of making this happen. (Let’s pretend it’s my country of citizenship that makes my idea an impossibility, okay?) But this is why we have a UN, right?

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: