December 19, 2012

December 19, 2012

Holiday Gift Guide 2012

So you’re probably wondering what to get me for Christmas.* Or, y’know, what to get your actual loved ones for Christmas. Whatever. I know that were it logistically expedient, you’d have already chosen one or two items off my extensive Amazon wishlist, I’M NOT JUDGING.

Though I can’t give good advice for parents (mine are getting pants and coffee), I humor myself that I have a couple of ideas for the discerning people in your life.

For the discerning foodie: Hobnobs. I have eaten dessert on four continents. These are my favorite go-to sweets, oatmeal cookies dipped in chocolate. If you’re really hungry, eat the whole tube. Otherwise, just one will do. Also, they’re British!

For the discerning reader: Gone Girl. It was a hard choice for book of the year in 2012, because I so loved both “Gone Girl” and “The Age of Miracles.” But whereas “The Age of Miracles” held me closely before gently letting go, “Gone Girl” almost suffocated me before abruptly ending. And if those metaphors don’t describe how you relate to books, maybe we aren’t the same kind of reader.

For the discerning viewer: The West Wing, complete series DVD set. In a year with elections, lurid scandals, and more international incidents than you can shake a dead fish at, remind yourself of a time not so long ago when ALL THE SAME STUFF WAS HAPPENING, but with smarter, more verbose people. And a big wheel of cheese. (Inside joke that you will get once you’ve watched "The West Wing"!)

For the discerning traveler: A non-rolling travel bag. Look, I’m all for rolling travel bags. I always travel with one. But you cannot, cannot, CANNOT travel with two rolling bags. It spells fail, which I personally witnessed this year in five countries. For the love of Pete, get your loved one a duffel bag, or something with a shoulder strap, so he has at least a chance of navigating airport security. DO IT FOR THE REST OF US.

Then go out and get yourself something nice. I got a new MP3 player, that also has a GPS, camera, wifi, and (I think) a cold fusion engine if I shake it correctly.

* Substitute winter holiday of your choice.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: