July 29, 2013

July 29, 2013

Hey, Mister Tally-Man

I like my bananas ripe. This is not a euphemism. I won’t even consider eating a banana until it looks like this:

Actual banana consumed on July 12, 2013

Honestly, this one could have used another day or two. My ideal banana is one day away from turning soft and gelatinous. To me, this makes perfect sense. Fruits ripen as they age. So it stands to reason that the longer you leave a fruit alone, the sweeter and tastier it will be when you eventually eat it. As go peaches, so go bananas.

Sadly, the entire rest of humanity apparently disagrees. I was watching a BBC food documentary recently and was told that the perfect banana has no green, but also no brown specks.

Um, what?

Then I was shopping at my not-so-local Giganti-Walmart and saw a chart in the produce section that looked a little something like this:

…making the point that a 5 is ideal and a 6 is maybe acceptable if you’re going to eat them in the car on the way home.


I’ve had 5s served by the misguided. They’re terrible. Hard. Not sweet. Nothing at all what I’m looking for in a banana. I suspect if you peeled a 5 and a 7, and set up a double-blind test, the majority of people would prefer the 7. So stop judging books by their covers.

The problem with my method, of course, is that you have a very short window in which to eat your bananas. And if you live alone, the only person around to eat your bananas is you. Thus I rarely purchase them, because I end up having to eat the whole bunch over the course of 18 hours or so. Great if you’re training for a marathon or a NASCAR race. Good thing I so often do those things.

Can we at least agree to move to, like, the 6? Is the 6 acceptable to you?

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: