September 30, 2013

September 30, 2013

Duly Noted Recommends, Volume 29

A quick rundown of things keeping me from gouging my eyes out…

Smell: Yankee Candle MMM, Bacon! Car Air Freshener

Since this product isn’t sold on the Yankee Candle website, I assumed it was no longer sold. Imagine my joy, then, when I walked into the Fair Oaks Mall location and found not just a shelf full of them, but also that they were on sale for a dollar each. Honestly, I should have bought 20 and called it a (meaty) day. Alas, I bought just one for fear it wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful as the bacon-y scent I imagined in my head (and experienced in the scratch-and-sniff catalog).

Behold, it was even greater. Turns out the combination of air freshener + greenhouse effect makes my car smell exactly like a smokehouse on sunny days. Best possible outcome. It has reduced my road rage by at least 4 percent. 

Listen: Royals by Lorde

You know how the last half hour of the workday lasts at least three hours? What is that? Is this what Einstein was talking about with that relativity stuff? Because ugh, right? I just want to go home to my Trader Joe’s paneer tikka masala and my television. I speed the time up a little bit by putting this YouTube video on loop. (There probably are other ways to do this, but I was a business major, so.)

Look: Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train

Just as misery loves company, a commuter loves hearing the woes of other commuters. Bring me your train derailments, your naked cyclists, and your traffic jams, yearning to breathe free. (I will raise you one poop-covered escalator, but still.) Half the reason I follow Gothamist is to read about MTA problems.

Thank goodness I found out about I had experienced the “leg spread” but didn’t realize it was a freaking epidemic. If you, God forbid, do this…I don’t even want to consider it. Because you seem so cool otherwise, and I feel like this is a dealbreaker. Knees together, luggage on lap or under the seat, and DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT BRINGING THAT BICYCLE ON BOARD.

(Notice that I didn’t suggest anything pumpkin flavored, because I’m honestly kinda ambivalent about that. I love fall because it gets darker and cooler, and people give me gifts and food on October 8. But I’m not big on sweaters, decorative gourds, or hayrides. Suggest going to a corn maze and I will probably slap you.)

1 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke:

I totally relate to commuter woes. AND I am shocked when those who are not commuters don't mirror my animated excitement or irritation when I tell them my stories! :)