September 2, 2013

September 2, 2013

In Defense of the Ladybug

Friend-of-blog B recently mentioned that he has a fear of ladybugs.

I can't. I can't even.

Insects, as a class (in the technical biological classification sense), are terrible. Just awful. Even the words used to describe it"creepy" and "crawly" among themare synonyms for disgusting. I say this not just as a woman, but as a human being. But also as a woman, because ew ew ew ew ew.

But nature has a funny way of throwing you a bone with things like this. For every unlovely group, there is a redeeming exception. Bears have pandas, the Polish have Copernicus, and insects have ladybugs. QED.

Remember a few years ago when we had that huge infestation, wherein the apocalypse was to be broughten upon the wings of Asian lady beetles? I remember spending an afternoon in my parents' backyard filling a jar with them. I don't remember what I did with the jar, but let's pretend I kept it and cherish it to this day. Because ladybugs are CUTE. They refute all of the things that make the rest of Insecta so terrifying:

Ladybugs move slowly. They plod, really. They don't scurry or scamper of whatever the crap it is that silverfish do.

Ladybugs are brightly colored. Call it red, call it orange. You know what you can't call it? The gross shade of brown sported by most bugs. [Grudging respect for bees, who have been rocking a bold yellow and black horizontal stripe for millennia. This is why bees have jobs, people. They're smart cookies.]

Ladybugs know how to play it cool. They don't FREAK OUT when suddenly exposed to light or STING. Obviously fans of Michael Pollan, they eat food. Mostly plants, plus the occasional fungi because who doesn't love a good mushroom, amiright?

This is why ladybugs were featured in the coloring pages of our youths, people. They're about as family-friendly as you can get when you have six (or more) legs. And allow me to quote directly from Wikipedia for a moment:

Many cultures consider coccinellids lucky and have nursery rhymes or local names for the insects that reflect this. For instance, the Turkish name for the insect is uğur böceği, literally meaning "good luck bug". In many countries, including Russia, Turkey, and Italy, the sight of a coccinellid is either a call to make a wish or a sign that a wish will soon be granted.

And how can you not love a bug sporting polka dots? Come ON.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: