September 24, 2013

September 24, 2013

My State was "In Need of a Restroom"

[So in a giant fail, I never posted this. Glad I checked my drafts folder, and a thousand apologies. Pretend it's February.]

Warning: This starts well and then ends up being mostly about me going to the bathroom. Deal with it.

While perusing my archives*, I realized that I never gave you the play-by-scintillating-play that was my State of the Union experience. As you know, I was invited to watch the speech from a White House briefing room and participate in a Q&A afterwards with members of the Obama policy team.

#yolo

Since I kept the "McCain/Palin 2008" shirt at home, it went pretty well. I got through the first level of security with no problems, because I keep two valid IDs with me at all times. (Friend-of-blog P keeps her passport on her person, and this is reason #18 that she's one of my favorite people.) After security level 1, I was ushered into a disorganized holding area for security level 2.

Imagine 100 dressed-up Bright Young Government Things making awkward conversation for an hour. Because that's what happened. Eventually, they started taking us through. I got through the second level of security with no problems because I can remove all metal from my person in four seconds. In airport security lines, I turn into just a blur.

So now I'm inside the briefing room, trying to play it cool when internally I'm all "ZOMG JOSH LYMAN IS GOING TO WALK OUT OF A DOOR AT ANY MINUTE." But at least I didn't go up to the front of the room to pose for a picture, as some people were doing. I just set up my laptop while covertly comparing myself to everyone else in the room.

A view from the top. By which I mean, my seat, which was actually somewhere in the middle of the room.

We watched an "enhanced version" of the speech. Think graphics. Pie charts. Bar charts. Factoids. It was a data nerd's wet dream. For me personally, it was a bit like work. Ew.



The speech wrapped up a bit after 10 p.m., at which point the Q&A commenced. At this point, I was tired and had to pee. Unfortunately, the other 99% of the room was ready to get their questions on. Like the kid next to me, who asked a very thougthful question about IDON'TKNOWWHATBECAUSEIHADTOPEE.

That face? Is the face of a woman who needs to pee.

We finally got out of there in time for me to scramble to the train station (they stop running at midnight on weekdays beacuse New York City is better than we are), ride to where I'd parked my car, speed home, and empty my bladder at like 12:06 a.m.

Whew.

It was fun to pretend to be a wonk for an evening, though suspiciously like what I do all day long.

Oh.

* Kidding. I don't read my own blog, that would be so narcissistic and wrong, ha ha ha.**
** Shutup.

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