October 2, 2013

October 2, 2013

I'm No Superman

Wearing a uniform to work seems to be the sort of thing that’s really attractive when you’re a kid and less so when you’re older. The jobs we dream of being when we grow up—astronaut, rock star, firefighter—all require specific sets of clothing. I mean, look at Halloween costumes. You don’t see too many mini patent lawyers or sandwich artists. I’m just saying.

Of course, plenty of people enter perfectly serviceable if unglamorous careers in uniform. Airline pilots. Cops. Foot Locker employees. We see them as they go to and from their shifts and think nothing of it.

Until you’re at the gym and the person working out one treadmill over is wearing scrubs.

Until you’re at the grocery store and the person looking at soup is wearing scrubs.

Until you’re flying to Seattle and the person pouring your Diet Coke is wearing scrubs.

(Okay, I made that last one up because I have a thing for threes in rhetoric. But the other two totally did happen.)

I assume that scrubs are comfortable, because the people who wear them deal with a lot of shit (some of it literal) every day.* Bending. Lifting. Intubating. Phlebotomizing. When I’m looking for a comfortable shoe, I generally check the feet of the closest nurse. (Not as difficult as it sounds; I work near THE George Washington University Hospital and see the backsides of a great many people in scrubs every workday.)

So scrubs are functional. I get that. I also get that they have more variety than they typical uniform, coming in a plethora of solids and patterns. Somewhere out there is a nurse in Hello Kitty scrubs. I feel it. I feel it in my bones. It’s really good.

And maybe the person in the soup aisle was grabbing dinner on the way home from work. (In the middle of the day on a Saturday? I don’t know. Nurses work weird shifts because I guess people get sick all the time or something?)

But the woman on the treadmill? I must put my foot down. The Venn diagram of “work clothes” and “workout clothes” overlaps only if you are Jillian Michaels. This also applies to the people I see working out in an of the following: khaki pants, button down shirts, sandals, wedges, and jeans. I SEE YOU, AND I JUDGE YOU.

The First Lady suggests, “Let’s Move.” I append, “While Appropriately Dressed and Shod.”

* In a rare mood of fact-checking, I asked friend-of-blog Can actual nurseabout this. She confirmed my guess that scrubs aren't THAT comfortable. To be fair, she probably also tells kids getting shots that it won't hurt.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: