Eighteen months ago today, two notable things happened in the DC area. For one, the space shuttle flew around DC a few times before landing near Dulles at
the a Smithsonian. For two, I auditioned for Jeopardy! in an
undisclosed location near the White House. (Cooler than it sounds; the White
House is pretty centrally located in downtown DC. Still, I like to use it is a
reference point. Where do I work? Near the White House. Where did I go to
dinner? Near the White House. Yolo.)
Why mention it now, rather than one, two, or five years later? Because the eligibility period for those who audition and qualify is eighteen months. So as of today, I’m just as likely to be called for the show as you are. (Assuming you are not, in fact, in the contestant pool. If you are, I apologize and also, can we talk about this?) I’m allowed to audition again, of course, the next time they’re held
near the White House
in the DC area. And I think I will, because Jeopardy! is really the only
television show I’m interested in appearing on.*
Plus I’ve got some ammo this time around that I didn’t have in April 2012. There’s the whole game show thing, which proves both that I am a winner and also that I can handle myself around a craft services table. I know now to wear bright colors to the audition, because women are meant to be ornamental rather than practical. And I got the plastic-frame glasses that channel my not-so-inner Velma.
I’m coming for you, Trebek.
* C-SPAN coverage of my cabinet appointment excepted.