March 11, 2014

March 11, 2014

Not Yet Found

File:Main characters of Lost.jpg
How do you solve a problem like Crimea? With people like these.

With every new detail that comes out about Malaysia Airlines flight 370, I’m increasingly convinced that we’re living the pilot episode of Lost. That makes me a terrible person, I know—comparing a tragedy to a television show. But phrases like “dropped from radar” and “stolen passports” make me wonder whether the MH370 version of Kate is stitching up the MH370 version of Jack yet.

(WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!)

Because I like to hold out hope that the passengers are in fact stranded on an island somewhere, perhaps with the fuselage passengers separated from the tail passengers. Maybe they’re encountered a mysterious smoke monster or a polar bear. It’s only been a few days, so the Others probably haven’t shown up. Yet.

(Keep pushing that button, Desmond! Keep pushing it for PEN-NEH!)

I can’t even imagine how you begin to search an entire ocean for one tiny plane. If COSMOS reminded me of anything, it’s how tiny we people are when compared to, like, everything else ever in the history of everything. So basically, it could be a while before we find that plane, and even longer before we can pin anything on the Dharma Initiative.

Speaking of nanobots, it’s just a matter of time before the power goes out, Revolution-style, and we’re left to remake society. Stock up on non-perishables from Trader Joe’s now, before the rush. If I'm about to plunge into a postapocalyptic society, I want to do it with almond butter and wasabi peas.

0 Fish in a Sea of Diet Coke: