August 27, 2014

August 27, 2014

Pencils Down

Once upon a time, aspiring Civil Servants in the United States had to take a test to be admitted. As someone who enjoys a) being a Civil Servant and b) taking tests, I’m devastated that the Civil Service Exam is no longer administered. Obviously, if I ever get my hands on a time machine, this is the fourth thing I’ll rectify.*

Hope is not lost, however, for I learned today that some countries still administer an entrance exam for hopeful government workers. India’s is one of the most difficult, with less than 1% of applicants getting selected. Let me blow your mind with some sweet, sweet Wikipedia:

The examination is one of the toughest examination in the world with success rate of 0.1%-0.3% with more than 500,000 applicants. It is conducted in two phases - the Preliminary examination, consisting of two objective-type papers (General Studies and Aptitude Test), and the Main examination, consisting of nine papers of conventional (essay) type followed by the Personality Test (Interview). The entire process from the notification of the Preliminary examination to declaration of the final results takes roughly one year.

Did you get a thrill of excitement while reading that? ‘Cause I sure did. Hundreds of thousands of applicants? Eleven tests? One year? YES PLEASE.

It is not immediately clear to me what subjects are available for the nine essay papers, but I’m hoping at least two or three are related to literature, film, television, or food. I’ve spent a lifetime curating knowledge of those areas.** The personality test would obviously be the hardest part, but I assume that’s why they save it until the end.

(When I imagine myself as a Jeopardy contestant, the part that really makes me sweat is the interview with Alex. I’d much rather just sing the state capitals or something.)

Do the highest scorers get the best jobs? That would be nice, though that certainly isn’t how other standardized tests seem to work. The highest ACT scorers didn’t get the best dorm rooms at my college or anything.*** But imagine a world in which only the best and brightest are selected to work in government, with the greatest of those put in the most important jobs.

I need a number 2 pencil and a ticket to Delhi. (Also, a working knowledge of Hindi.)

* After visiting the Great Exhibition (1851), the Chicago World’s Fair (1893), and the Titanic (1912). I’ll get to killing Hitler at some point, but PRIORITIES, GUYS.
** Related: If you got on Mastermind, what would your subject be? I think mine would be Jello.
*** I got a 33 on the ACT, roughly equivalent to a 1450-1500 on the SAT. And I got stuck in the dorm on the edge of campus, next to the railroad tracks. So.

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