September 18, 2015

September 15, 2015

September 15, 2015

The State of the TV Schedule: Fall 2015

It’s with some reluctance that I turn my thoughts from summer to fall TV. In general, I delight in putting summer behind me: summer is the season of no school, hot weather, and entirely too much daylight. Blurgh. But this summer was an embarrassment of television riches, people. Difficult People made me laugh wickedly. UnREAL convinced me once and for all that I needn’t watch anything that includes the word “bachelor.” Mr. Robot tickled my dystopian bone. Like I said, an embarrassment of television riches.

Alas, all good things must come to a Shonda-declared end. Thus I present the State of the TV Schedule: Fall 2015.

Monday
Minority Report – I liked the movie a lot, and while this series has 100% less Neal McDonough, I’m hopeful just the same.

Tuesday
NCIS – At some point, this show will end, disappointing me and millions of senior citizens. Until that day, I’m in.

Wednesday
Modern Family

Thursday
Heroes Reborn – Hiro + HRG? Yes please.
Scandal
How to Get Away with Murder

Friday
Shark Tank – To my surprise, this is the show I’ve been missing most. Nothing like seeing people’s pitches rewarded and/or crushed accordingly.

Sunday
The Last Man on Earth – I didn't expect to like this show nearly as much as I do. It's a gem, even if your Will Forte mileage varies.

Undecided: Quantico, Limitless, Project Greenlight

Watching, but not on network TV: The Mindy Project, The Man in the High Castle, Manhattan

You?

September 10, 2015

September 10, 2015

Wisconsin State Fair 2015

At this point, only the briefest of recaps is necessary for each of my annual State Fair visits. I’ve got my routine down pat, and very little changes from year to year.

I know that I’ll wander the Expo Center, ogling the miracle products:


There will be a few head-scratchers, too:


I’ll watch the Raptors: Birds of Prey show with utter delight.

TINY OWL IS TINY.

Peregrine Falcon, fastest animal.

"I am freedom, baby.”

Crows are the Rodney Dangerfield of the bird world. No respect.

I’ll admire prize-winning cheeses:


Prize-winning baked goods, too:


The animals will seem less-than-excited to be at the freaking STATE FAIR:

“Wake me when it’s over.”

Cock-a-doodle-meh.

And throughout the day, I will attempt to eat my body weight.


Cruller on a stick.

Flavored milks: Orange creamsicle, root beer, banana, strawberry, and chocolate.

The Wis-cone-sin (new this year).

Pretzel-crusted brownies on a stick, also new this year.

See you in 2016.

September 4, 2015

September 4, 2015

Hot Pocket Veto

The BBC’s recent Britain at the Bookies miniseries—available as of writing on YouTube, so be quick about it—was a pretty fascinating look at betting. I myself am not a gambler, preferring the buffet to any table game or machine. Seriously, I’ve been to casinos dozens of times but gambled only once, spending a dollar on penny slots in Vegas and ending up with $2.32. Thus it’s with disinterest that I enjoyed learning about OTB, horseracing, and the like.

BUT. My ears did perk up during episode 2, when the question of naming racehorses came up. Namely (no pun intended), what you would name your horse, if you had one. Coincidentally, I had decided on this very thing earlier that same day. So without further ado, let the record show that I today am claiming the following name for any racing horse, dog, BattleBot, or yet-to-be-invented cyborg I may ever use for competition purposes:

Hot Pocket Veto

Brilliant, right? It combines three of my loves: frozen food, politics, and wordplay. Google indicates that the phrase has to date been used just once, in a tweet about the President, and that the phrase was not referencing the food product. Folks, I’m counting this one as all mine.

Back-up plan: I discover something (a strain of bacteria? a planet? spitballing here) and use this name. Win-win.

Edit: What name would you choose?